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Thursday, February 02, 2006

All things said and done...

Death is a stark reminder about the impermanence of life...the after life of death is very mysterious to me...What happens when we die? Whom we become...do we go to heaven or hell...and is there any more births at all after death? If yes, how long it takes us to get to another form...etc etc. All such questions went on my head when my Periappa (my dad's elder brother) died due to post surgical complications after undergoing a successful by-pass surgery. This left me and my relatives in a state of shock...this is a case to be reckoned as a unique one as just 3 months ago he lost his eldest son who was born with a hole in the heart, and who suffered through 31 years of his life with consuming lot of medications and taking injections...

Now that both chapters are over, I pray God to give strength to my Periamma and her second son...her only hope for tomorrow and the only left connection with her husband...

This experience was very transforming for me...I realized that nothing lasts forever...only the words said and deeds done matter at the end...And also we ought to enjoy every single day thinking it is the last...so that atleast our regrets approach zero as we grow...I cried a lot but nothing changed...we laughed the same afternoon when someone joked on something...Nothing stops because of someone even in situations like this. The life around keeps going...rather it pulls us to do the routine no matter what...

I made a resolve to keep my parents happy always - I wouldn't hurt them at any cost...nor blame them for anything...just thank them for what they have done to me and shaping me as the person I am today. I have forgiven whole-heartedly for whatever wrongs they have done too...No more counters I would entertain on my mind...but only do deeds unconditionally to one and all...Yes that is what I want to do...to honor my Periappa's memories that are so fresh even today...
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